BURN OUT

THANK YOU, JESUS FOR BEING MY STRENGTH WHEN I CAN’T BARE TO FACE ANOTHER DAY!!

Well…I have officially hit “burn out.” I am so exhausted from this past week. Work was really crazy this week. Also, the in-laws are coming in for a visit so instead of dropping in pure exhaustion then I have to figure out where to stash all this mess that I have managed to recently accumulate in my living room following my spring cleaning (which hasn’t been finished but is all dumped in the way). Then just when I think I can still manage to survive with my head above water and I realize that I may can pull this miracle house cleaning before the in-laws come in then ***BAM…***…..and just like that reality gets a great laugh at my expense because wouldn’t you know that now Kade is sick. He went with Aaron to church Sunday and Aaron called me to come get him because he started throwing up. Well, let’s just say that Wednesday night turned out to be longer than I had hoped and was way less productive than I had imagined.

Now Kade seems to be much better and the storm has become eerily quite again….which is what usually happens before making landfall. Well, I am going to continue to enjoy what seems, at this moment, to be the “eye of the storm” for as long as I am allowed. After all, life is best lived in and through the daily challenges we fail to anticipate….

Well, since it has been several months since my last blog then I can't possibly cram an update, or at least a good update into one little entry. I will just say that my family and I went on vacation in Gulf Shores, which was a BLAST!! Also, my sister left with her kids to go to South Virginia to be with her husband (who is working there). I have been very depressed about that because I miss her and her babies so much! Fortunatly she is home right now and will hopefully be here until Christmas. Lots more has happened but I am not sure where to even begin so I will just end with a promise to try and do better. Although, after a day like today at work....I am so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open.

I had a wonderful day. I spent the day being extremely lazy. I did go with my mom to the doctor but that was the extent of the productiveness of my day. Oh yeah, I also ran to the pharmacy to grab some medicine. Other than that I have slept and laid around ALL DAY LONG!! I have loved it and my body has needed the rest more than words could ever describe. I think sometimes we run so hard and so fast that we forget to slow down and let our bodies catch up. We push as hard as we can, as fast as we can, and we expect that our body won't really need the rest and that everything will work out. Unfortunately we are not sure why we work so hard. I mean, what is it that we really accomplish? and What for? What good will all of the stress and acocomplishments do for us in the long run? The only accomplishments we take with us are those that we have accomplished in, thru, and for Christ. If it furthered His kingdom than it is worth the hard work but anything else we do is in vain! So why do we give that which is in vain much more importance in our lives.

Do u ever?

First of all, thank goodness it is Friday!! I have been very contemplative tonite and seem to have over analyzed everything...every word....every silence. Not sure what is wrong with me. Probably just really tired. It was a long week at work and even longer week at home. I am looking forward to working the food panty in the morning. Aaron and I both love that. Well, I guess I have got to run. I still have an errand before I can go to bed tonight.

Too Much Living

Alright...I know. It has been a couple of weeks. Believe it or not though I stay so busy that sometimes I forget my name!!! Ever wonder where life has gone to? Ever wonder how it passed by so quickly without being noticed? Often we run as such a high rate of speed that we pass life by. We literally do not take the time to smell the flowers because we don't have the time. My favorite saying is, "Maybe I can (or will get to) when things settle down some around here." Maybe I am wrong here but my life should be open to any possibility at any moment. Who knows what opportunities I may have turned down because I just simply didn't have the time. So what can be done? What will make our lives slow down? How can we change?

Ode to a Sunday...

What a great day to rejoice in the Lord!! I got up this morning, preparing myself for church and thinking how tired I was and how I just wished I could stay in the bed another....few hours. I dragged my lazy butt out of bed and into the shower. I forgot to set the coffeepot last night so I kept dozing off in the shower just trying to survive until the coffee stopped dripping. I new Aaron was getting irritated though. I could hear it in the shortness of his voice. After I tore myself from the hot, steaming shower I sludged into the kitchen. I didn't have to take a drink....just smelling the coffee as it was pouring from the carafe into my cup was enough to make me say, "Oh, praise the Lord for coffee!" That was about the point that it hit me...how pathetic and selfish am I?
I woke up this morning!!! The sun was shining!!! My healthy kids sprang from the bed this morning. They were so excited and yelling about if it was time to go to church yet. How often we loose our enthusiasm for Christ. We are so self centered and warped into believing that we are too tired or too sick or too busy or too blah! for church today. We expect God to give us eternity and we gripe about the few hours we so graciously give him on Sunday! WOW! I think it is time we all wake up and smell the coffee (so to speak).
After this revolution that I experienced I was very excited about getting dressed. Of course my plan was full of flaws, you see. I forgot how the devil really likes to fight me daily...especially on Sunday's. I made up my mind though that we would not defeat me today!! I knew Christ was who conquers Satan and his kind and as long as I continued to wear Christ's armor then I too fall under the protection of Christ's rule. In other words, God's armor that he provides will protect me and give me both the strength and the power to withstand ANYTHING Satan attempts to throw in my path. He may have slowed me down some (b/c we were slightly late after I wrestled my new contacts) but we nonetheless made it to Sunday School and Church! What a praise!!! I JUST LOVE WHEN GOD WINS! My bible says that this isn't a one time occurrence but that Christ will continuously overcome Satan throughout every battle and will, at his choosing, defeat Satan for good. Not to mention that A.J. joined the church and our Sunday school class today. HALLELUJAH!! PRAISE GOD IN HIS GLORY! Welcome aboard, officially anyway, A.J. See, A.J. has pretty well been aboard for a while but it was just official today.
Well, after church Aaron, Kade, and I came home from church. Alora went to Hailey's to play for a while. We all snuggled in my bed. It was so...what are the words...are there words? It was comforting and wonderful and...well you know. It allowed me to lay
and love on the two men in my life. I was snuggled with my toddler in my arms and my husbands strong arms wrapped around me. What could be better than that feeling in the world. I am not sure there is any better.
After that then we woke up and went back to church. Two of the gentlemen in our church just returned from a missionary trip and they had a slide show. It was really a humbling experience. It made me realize how much I truly take for granted day in and day out. Just another reminder of how selfish I really am.
Well after church today I came home and sat around. Sunday is a day of rest you know. Then I fixed my coffeepot for the morning (I didn't want to repeat the same mistake) and went back to bed. Overall it was a fabulous day. Very eye opening.

OOOHHHH!! WHAT A DAY!!!

I was able to spend the whole day lying around not doing anything. I watched General Hospital all day! I have not had to move off the couch for much. I needed this so much! I don't even know how to start! WOW!! Things have been so crazy with Aaron going back to school. I never get to just sit and enjoy my babies anymore. I miss them. The moments I spend with Aaron are great but seem instable from one moment to the next. There is too many personality shifts from one moment to the next because of the PTSD and PCBD. I am exhausted and it only continues to worsen. If it weren't for God giving me the strength everyday then I don't think I would bother to get out of bed to even attempt living each day.